Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Practical Applications of Owning a Shrink Ray

I've been daydreaming lately about what it would be like to have a shrink ray.

Sure, we all thought about it when we were kids and wanted to make the bully on the playground feel like the weakling for once - or shrink our vegetables down to a minuscule size making them easier to hide underneath our mashed potatoes.  But, the more I think about it - it seems the power to shrink something (and bring it back to its original size) at will would have many practical applications in the life of the adult.

Think of the possibilities.  I wouldn't have to buy that $400 storage shed I've been eying, I could just shrink all the Christmas decorations, tools, and baby clothes down into a box and store it under the bed.

I wouldn't need to worry about the car getting being exposed to the elements or possible thievery.  I could simply shrink it down, bring it into the house at night and restore it back to its original size in the morning.

Admittedly, I would probably pack whole bags of popcorn at home, stuff them in my purse, and sneak them into the movie theater.  On that same note, if I really decided to abuse the power, I would even store a kid in my pocket to save the admission money.

Imagine how happy my children would be when they wake up on Christmas day to find a giraffe underneath the  Christmas tree.

I could shrink my vegetables down to hide them under my mashed potatoes so the kids think I'm eating them and follow my example.

I wonder if I could localize the shrink ray to just one area, and shrink down my thighs?  Nah, that's preposterous.


  1. Shrink rays... now we're talking! I'd shrink the laundry. But, then again, we'd have to shrink ourselves to fit into our own clothes.

    You're right. This does get preposterous too quickly.

  2. I'd shrink my friends and put them in a terrarium jar on my nightstand. I've always wondered what they would do with themselves in that environment.

  3. That's creative AND disturbing... (my favorite kind of thought...) :)


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