Saturday, June 9, 2012

For a Graduate

You graduate from high school today and I have no money or ideas to give you a gift - not really.

Should I make another jewelry holding craft or griddle a batch of those pancakes you like? Shall I fit in a last-minute, frantic run to the store to seek out luck in finding that one perfect item - with love and well wishes, and declarations of pride all wrapped in one (all within my meager spending limit)? I don't think so.

And yet, what I have at my disposal is just that - my love and well wishes, pride in you, and gratitude for you. You're not the sentimental type, and I suppose you'd be a little embarrassed at a blog specifically dedicated to you, but doesn't that just make it perfect after all these years of my embarrassing you?

And so, my baby sister, here's to you:


I remember when mom said she would be having you, and I felt excitement and all at the same time, declared, "But you must love me more than the baby."

And yet, I didn't know how deserving of that love you would be...

Right from the beginning we were good friends. Your chubby face and awkward ear would press into my shoulder as I stood and watched television. To cradle you to sleep, would lean hypnotically from side to side, (many times for hours), until I was certain you had fallen into an absorbed sleep. I would then tiptoe into mom's bedroom, hold my breath, and set you in the bed as if laying a cloud on a bed of jell-o, and all for the purpose of making the baby happy.

When you were slightly older, we had a post bath time ritual. It involved me cinching you up tightly in a towel (as a baby burrito), and pulling you up in a whirlwind. We would rush to the bedroom where I would then swing you high as we counted together. 1...2...3...with each count the swing got higher until I tossed you into the bed with an alarming bounce. You loved it and would not consider it time to sleep until it had been done at least thrice.

I recall that I came to Kingman when you were a toddler in large part because my "only friend" called you 'ugly'.  I did not see her as a friend after that. And so, seemingly friendless, I packed up and left to live with my dad, but how I cried when I came back for the weekend, and my presence made you panic. I don't know if I seemed strange to you, or if you were angry with me for leaving, but I knew then that I hadn't lost my only friend, but I had unknowingly abandoned her.   (And by the way, the joke's on her, because look at what a gorgeous woman you are now.)

Once I moved to Kingman, we weren't as close as we once were, but I can tell you you were always in my thoughts, and can say with some confidence that I would have never married Robert, even with all his good qualities, if he had been cold towards you.

Now the years have passed, as years often do - and you have grown into a young lady right underneath my nose so much that it seems like ordinary magic. My memories of you as we both got older were fewer and further between, but I always kept (and still do keep) all the pictures you drew for me, and you always called me when you were overwhelmed, and I hoped that was a good sign.

As I write the last few paragraphs of my "gift" to you, I'm panicking to run out late to your graduation, and doubts fly in my mind about whether this silly blog has been good enough.  I  find myself wishing I could write for you a more wise prose - one that would echo through your heart and mind, and somehow make you feel this very blog could give you the keys to a meaningful life.  But I don't have that  wisdom for you.  What little wisdom I may have to offer is only what has been recycled through me from others, so much so that anything I could say you have likely already heard, and many other things that can not be only read, but only accepted.

But this blog was not truly meant to give you the keys to life, there is a book out there for this, of which I dare not compete.

This measly little blog is meant to be a toast!  To declare to you, and the internet, (including my staggering but awesome 11 followers) the specialness of you! 

A salutation, a ego inflation!
An notation, an ovation. A graduation sensation!

A declaration of love, and well wishes...of pride and gratitude.
So I'll finish by saying, "I'm proud, and I love you." 

Okay, that got a little Dr. Seuss-y at the end there, but there it is.  I also made you a pinterest with what I hope are some little tips to help you along your way.  It has a sort of theme...I think it's very "poor college student chic".  Here it is:  (call me for the password so you can add stuff.)


  1. If anyone's wondering, this blog post came up twice because yesterday I was rushing to the end, and posted it before I really felt it was finished. I came back and edited it today, and reposted it.

  2. Such a poet! When is your brother's post on his birthday?!

  3. Aw Chris - you know I love you. You don't need a birthday post! :)


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